


dumb snk chatfic

by ATotalNightmare



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Please Don't Ask, Tags will be added, This Is STUPID, chat fic, chatfic, dumb shit, honestly this is just for distractions, i'm just rlly lazy, the only way this is canon-divergent is bc they all have phones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 14:08:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19947415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATotalNightmare/pseuds/ATotalNightmare
Summary: feral child #1: *dancing queen by ABBA plays in the distance while I bleed out on the bathroom floor from 17 stab wounds*horse #1: falco, whatapeshit: only 17?





	dumb snk chatfic

**Author's Note:**

> take this how you will, i'm making this just to dump shitty ideas
> 
> feral child #1 - Falco Grice  
> feral child #2- gabi braun  
> armor man - reiner braun  
> horse #1 - colt grice  
> apeshit - zeke
> 
> uh. you'll find out the rest i guess lajnlfj

_A new groupchat has been made._

_Zeke, Falco, Gabi, Reiner, 10+ have been added._

Zeke: I would say to keep this chat professional, but i have a feeling it's not going to stay that way.

Falco: not on my watch

Colt: Falco, i almost fear what you mean by that

Falco: :)

Porco: huh, a groupchat?? what's this for

Reiner: probably to stay in contact

gabi: i mean,, obviously

also, can we change our names here

Zeke: Definitely, this wouldn't be a groupchat without it, right?

Falco: i also have a question, mr. zeke

Zeke: Yes?

Falco: can we cuss

Colt: don't say yes

Zeke: Yes. :)

colt: oh no

falco: FUCK YEAH

colt: i'm about to cry

porco: lnjdsljnflsjnlfj

didn't know he had it in him

colt: oh you know nothing about falco. you don't know the definition of feral until you know the real him

_Falco Grice has been given admin permissions._

Zeke: i didn't do that,

_Falco's name has been changed to Feral Child #1._

_Gabi's name has been changed to Feral Child #2._

Feral Child #2: oh thank god

_Zeke's name has been changed to apeshit._

apeshit: normally i would give out a punishment, but i accept this

Feral Child #1: knew you'd like it, mr. zeke

Colt: why do i have a bad feeling

_Colt's name has been changed to Horse._

horse: OKAY FIRST OF ALL I'M NOT A HORSE

Reiner: This seems familiar...

Feral Child #1: your name is literally colt. also, why is it familar, reiner??

Reiner: oh, back when i was on Paradis, one of the guys i met there got called horseface a lot. it,, got both parties involved. as in the person who called him a horseface and the horseface person both got into fights.

...A lot.

feral child #1: that's great. also, i noticed that several people are here, not enough that we know personally. are they random soldiers or?

apeshit: oh no, they're from the island

feral child #2: i doubt that's a good idea

Jean: what do you mean by that?? also fuck you reiner

reiner: oh no

sasha: hi!!

reiner: d. don't tell me you added all of them,

Captain Levi: Oh, we were added, alright. Also, not a very bad name, 'Apeshit'.

apeshit: your welcome, levi.

Udo: hHH??!! PEOPLE??

feral child #1: oh, hi udo! dw, you don't have to talk if you don't wanna

udo: no i want to!! i'm jus.t huuhhh

feral child #1: nervous?

udo: yeah that's waht i wanted to say,, also my fingers keep slipping

feral child #2: oof. where's zofia?

udo: idk? she doesn't use her phone a lot, so she might not talk a lot, if at all

reiner: hey, kids, training.

udo: OH SHIT LAJNDSLJF OKAY BE OVER THERE

feral child #1: fuck

-

feral child #1: jesus fuck i feel like i'm gonna pass out

horse: for the love of god stop cussing

and change my name back, i'm not a horse, for the 50th time

feral child #1: says the one whose name is colt and looks like a horse

horse: I DON'T LOOK LIKE A HORSE FOR GODS SAKE

jean: oh thank god i'm not the only one

feral child #1: Hmm

Horse #2: Huh?

OH FUCK YOU

feral child #1: :)

-

reiner: anyone wanna come with me to get some food?

feral child #1: HELL YEAH, FOOD

reiner: please don't drain my wallet again, last time it gained sentience and started crying

udo: dw reiner!! we won't :)

reiner: hopefully,, somehow, you kids eat more than sasha does, and that's saying something

sasha: **_no one can eat more than me_**

porco: why do i have a feeling you started something?

reiner: knowing her, i may have

but anyways lets just get food and hope my wallet doesn't implode

feral child #1: bone app the teeth

horse #1: falco, i hope you know i fucking hate you

feral child #1: yeah i get that a lot

-

_1:32 AM_

feral child #1: *dancing queen by ABBA plays in the distance while I bleed out on the bathroom floor from 17 stab wounds*

horse #1: falco, what

apeshit: only 17?

porco: why the fuck are you all awake

feral child #1: why the fuck are YOU awake?

porco: touche

reiner: falco, why are you awake?? you should be asleep, it's almost 2 am and you know you have to be up at 6.

feral child #1: can't sleep for shit. i'm so tired, let me die

reiner:

porco: 

ur not feeling that way on MY watch

feral child #2: falco you just summoned a whole bunch of concerned parents

feral child #1: yeah i know

huh why is mr. galliard coming in here

?????????????

feral child #2: AW

CUDDLE PILE?

porco: no cuddle piles, the only person allowed to get a hug from me is falco

feral child #2: cuddle pile it is!

porco: oh no

reiner: i heard cuddle pile for the children

udo: ?? what's happening

feral child #2: cuddles

udo: c. can i,

porco: damn it fine, all of you get hugs but after this, it's sleep time

apeshit: aw, i need to get a picture of this

porco: don't you _dare_

apeshit: too late, i already have a lot of blackmail

pieck: d'aw, this is cute

porco: HOLY SHIT WHEN DID YOU JOIN

pieck: been here since the beginning. but this is cute, so may as well show myself

porco: eve through text, you're fucking terrifying

reiner: shoosh, we sleep

porco: absolutely not while i'm covered in children

reiner: please :(

porco: damn it fine

reiner: :)

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this is satisfactory??? i got bored and liked the idea ljsndlfj. also this is meant for stress relief, so i'll be writing here whenever i feel like it and it'll get updated when i want it to be. so ye


End file.
